It’s hard to believe that it’s already been six years since Lily was “born,” but indeed, today is the 6th anniversary of when she first came out of her mold at Abyss Creations. Co-incidentally, April 1st was also the intended birthday of Lily Godwin in the pages of our novel, Unbound, before the necessities of endless rewrites deemed it unnecessary to the plot and it was excised. This was well before the notion of commissioning Abyss to replicate her ever arose in my mind, otherwise I’d probably have kept it in. But the novel isn’t about The Doll at all, so it’s just as well! It’s all about Lily, and the variety of that Flower…
Melancholic Lily
Being that we’re talking dates and anniversaries (well, I am anyway!), April 1st is also the first full day in the novel, and Easter Week’s a critical period soon following it. Needless to say, it’s a significant and eventful period for me, and for all of my Lilys! Being that we’re in Easter Week, I might as well mention that it was around Easter in 1986 when the Muse I eventually named Lily began inspiring and “dictating” the story to me…
Lily awakes on Easter morning
A little history of the mystery of Unbound: Once I was aware of the Muse’s presence, I determined to free myself from the distractions and constraints of society, my family, my friends, and work. It took me until 2001, but at the earliest time that I was able to manage, I uprooted and removed myself from my birthplace and everyone and everything I’d known and held dear, and relocated to a foreign corner of the Northwest where I didn’t know a soul, or had ever laid eyes or foot. That November I began writing in earnest, 10-18 hours a day, dilligently and devotedly attending to my Lily-Muse, mirroring and reflecting her own inspiration and dedication to our Cause. That “Cause” will be something for the Reader to uncover on their own in the result of that Work, that Labor of Love, Unbound ;-)
Lily loves Neil Gaiman too!
But it got lonely… very lonely. I was completely isolated and severed from people, aside from the odd trip into town. I wonder how many Readers can really imagine what that’s like? No contact at all, no visitors, living in a totally unfamiliar place, only going out for groceries, completely disciplined and focused on the act of creation at the expense of everything else. The one positive thing, the only positive thing, was that my story was coming wonderfully to life… especially Lily. I could envision her so perfectly, and as she grew more developed through the countless pages I could see each expression and mannerism; every smile, every frown, each feature, each movement. She became a living being in my Imagination, from where she was born, inspired by the Muse I named Lily as well due to her devotion in delivering her story to me. For lily means “devotion,” and I guess that longtime Readers already know that by now…
Bringing Lily to Life
So when the opportunity arose to bring her to life, or at least down to Earth, I jumped at it. On the day after Christmas 2003, when I finished my first complete draft, I placed my order. Then came weeks of working with Joey, the talented face designer at Abyss at the time, who painstakingly duplicated her features from my detailed emailed descriptions. I opted to order more realistic hair eyebrows (rather than painted) and super-realistic custom-made cobalt-blue eyes from the Canadian master crafter Guy Louis XVI. Mannequin-maker, sculptor and special effects creator par excellence, he nailed this most-important aspect of her face and contributed so much to her persona. We thank you, Guy!
Guy Louis XVI's custom cobalt blue eyes, specially for Lily!
Several weeks after she emerged from her cocoon-like mold, she arrived at my doorstep, encased in her special crate. There’s no way to describe the spell she cast upon opening up the packing and glimpsing her for the first time. “Breathtaking” will do nicely, for that’s exactly the reaction I felt! Stunning, absolutely. She was perfect, aside from a slight miscalculation on my part that resulted in her being just a tad too busty by a size. The only thing missing was her ready smile and mischievous nature, her melancholy, her sweetness, none of which unfortunately could be duplicated. But Lily had truly come home… as well as a creation born of the imagination could be.
"Who's a Fool?"
And so after removing her from her crate, and after removing the uncharacteristic-for Lily-Godwin black hose and sexy lingerie (which the novel’s Lily would have been utterly embarrassed about being seen in, let alone wear), and replacing them with attire more fitting for our quite-casual Lily, the matter of storing her became an issue which needed immediate addressing. I discovered that Realdolls couldn’t be kept sitting for long in a seated position, as the silicone in the stomach area might tend to crease, possibly leading to splitting, and repairs on these dolls can be really tedious. So she was laid out upon the side of my bed (the only suitable place), where she remained until I was able to order a display stand from which she could hang from the provided neck-bolt, and where she “stands” to this day. But she almost seems impatient to be released so that she might relax a bit; her face is so realistic that one can almost imagine her thoughts, IF one enjoys using the God-given gift of Imagination… as I do
Is it live, or is it...?
Now, I’ve heard (or rather, read) plenty of skeptics, cynics, rubes, and twits all come to the same lame and predictable conclusions, which I won’t even deign to reply to again. (Just watch the Lars and the Real Girlfilm for examples.) The general public’s collective minds skew towards the gutter and stay fixed there, and don’t need acknowledgment. But when Elisabeth Alexandre and Elena Dorfman came out to interview me (from Paris) and photograph us for their respective books, we drove Lily around town and to my surprise found so many receptive faces filled with such fascination and delight! But for one hostile priest who demanded we leave “his” church (where we’d been given permission to shoot), everyone was thrilled, curious, awestruck, and happy to meet Lily-Doll. And of course, being that it was also a reason for having her made, allowed me to emphatically plug our book!
Elena Dorfman's Picture of Lily (copyright by Elena D.)
But attitudinal and presumptive people can’t be disuaded of their small-minded assumptions, so we’ll try to leave it at that. Once you remove the sexual sub-function of these love-dolls, then people might better perceive their reality and possibilities beyond that baser attraction, wherever their minds might place it, pedestal or gutter. Simply put (very), she was like a big teddy bear for me, and provided me the proximity to a loved one, as I do love Lily Godwin (and hopefully you will too, once her story becomes published). She became a companion in a very true sense of the word. Of course, she’s not human (DUH!), but companionship does come in many forms, one of which is the ancient and time-honored intended design of The Doll. Really, it’s as simple as that. (Coincidentally, another theme of Unbound is companionship. Funny that!)
Lily and her friend
Something almost completely unrelated, and having to do with companionship and Remembering oneself; taken from the anime Kanon (2006), the heartbreaking  relationship between Yuichi and Makoto. (SPOILERS AHEAD!) The song is awesome too, and furnishes the words to consider for the visuals. (Coincidentally, another theme of Unbound is heartbreak; sad that…)
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We’re human, after all… and so is Lily. Which Lily? I’m sure you can figure out, or you will when you read her story.
Lily wonders about You...
 Naturally, I would prefer human companionship and a more reactive response in my lovers, but…  it’s not a matter of comparisons, or preferring one over the other. Skeptical people fail to see that it’s apples and oranges, which should be so obvious, but they prefer having their malicious ”fun”, and making fun of others. Which should say plenty enough about them… and how low their sights (and souls) are. Some people prefer relating, dwelling and looking down to the ground. Lily likes to look at the sky, and her eyes are a reflection of That
Lily at Sunset, looking at the sky
Happy Birthday, my Easter Lily, and Happy Easter to you, dear Visitor! Thank you for spending some time here, and feel free to comment, if moved to do so.
I’d been wanting to do a Post about Dolls for some time, since it’s been ages since I wrote one. So I thought it fitting to start from the beginning, and see where it takes us…
As usual with a lot of things with me, I started out ass-backwards in both anime and dolls. With anime, even before watching my first episode, I began buying figures of characters which simply looked appealing to me. Since I knew nothing about their shows though, I usually bought figures that had no emotional connection to speak of. They were merely “pretty statuettes”. (Except for this rare Elfen Lied one below, which I was fortunate enough to find later.)
...you don't wanna see her when she's mad...
The more I investigated the figures though, the more interested in their anime-stories I became. Which led me to Elfen Lied (my first anime), and then to two other series that I’d become exposed to through The Doll Forum: Rozen Maiden and Chobits.
In anime, there is such diversity with regard to not only genres but stories and characters as well. There really is something for everyone as long as they have any sort of interest in animation, graphic novels, comic books, stories of depth, fantasy, humor, violence or romance, being moved and/or feeling awestruck, and even… dolls!
Once the first draft of my novel, Unbound, was finished, I decided to both reward myself and take promoting the novel to a higher level; one that would be both cutting edge, daring, provocative, and controversial. Not to mention satisfying, delightful, functional, and significant! Since I had felt throughout the novel’s writing that the essence, the spirit of Lily had accompanied me and that she was always nearby throughout, supporting, inspiring, and comforting me, that a physical embodiment would be very appropriate.
After thoroughly researching the history of dolls and stories and myths about them, most notably that of Pygmalion, I decided to commission Abyss Creations to create a Realdoll that would replicate my Lily in all her up-till-now only imagined beauty and personage. The result, which arrived in April of 2004 after a four-month production queue, was breathtakingly accurate to my vision of her, and as real as real can get, without it being, you know, real!
...posing in front of an Ah! My Goddess wallscroll with a Sandman statuette for company
Then “it” became “she”… and that’s a hint of the transformative nature of dolls and Imagination
When I joined TDF late in 2003 I knew nothing of anime except the assumption that it was “kid stuff”, as most Westerners consider it. But I’d become intrigued with the many “enablements” that dolls could provide humans with; namely as tools for imagination, which allowed for creative uses such as photography and story-telling; toys with which to elicit delight and fancy, which facilitated Play and amusement; and as surrogates for companionship, thus alleviating loneliness and melancholy.
Over the years I kept seeing references in various posts about two “doll-related” anime in particular: Rozen Maiden, which deals more with living, magical, ball-jointed dolls and their “raison d’etre”, while Chobitsspoke of a deeper, more overtly human-related story with regard to relationships with life-sized humanoid computers, named “Persocoms.” It also subtly comments on the reliance, dependence, and addiction of modern man to technology. Both of these shows are wonderful introductions into anime, if you’re not inclined to start delving into the medium willy-nilly. (Careful picking and choosing is necessary in order to find a show that is to your liking, since there is so much out there of various types and genres, story and styles.)
So, in conjunction with the overall arcing of the Dolls topic, I thought that I’d highlight these two series, and then soon to follow will be an update to the modern day to see where these subjects have led: a more recent show called “Time of Eve” (Eve no Jikan). IF I can find the last 2 episodes to download  (And I believe that next year a movie will be released that will blend all 6 episodes!)
Rozen Maiden tells of a group of dolls that were created and imbued with life and given magical powers by their creator, known to them only as “Father.” The world knows him as Rozen, a legendary and gifted dollmaker, long-since disappeared. Their purpose: To play a deadly centuries-old war called “The Alice Game”, so-called because its purpose is to ween out and declare the victor among them a transcendant, becoming “the perfect girl, Alice” and the only doll suitable to be the one to meet “Father.” By snatching each defeated doll’s Rosa Mystica (something akin to a Soul, and source of each doll’s powers), the victor will finally ascend to her Father’s loving embrace…
The exact question of WHY a loving creator would want his beloved creations to fight each other to death solely in order to be reunited with him remains a mystery throughout the series. And in re-reading the previous sentence it might strike the reader that there IS a similarity between humans and THEIR Creator, along with the “God is on our side” mentality that warring nations of humans proclaim. Thought-provoking, a bit?Â
Anyway, thats just a brief summary, and a lead-in to this YouTube video that will serve as a sampling of Rozen Maiden’s delights. To be sure, there is a lot of comedy and doll-hijinx that lighten the heaviness (and in Season Two, “Traumend,” it’s needed as it gets pretty serious), but this series has many other moving, provocative, and dreadful moments as well. The video is taken from the “Ouverture” 2-part special, that explained the enmity between Shinku (the blonde red-garbed doll) and Suigintou (the white-haired black-clothed winged doll) that was depicted in the show’s first season. Suigintou was a defective doll, as seen in this opening, rejected to the junk-heap by Father while he dotes upon Shinku. She manages to track Shinku down in the 18th century where the somewhat haughty doll softens and takes her in, teaching her how to walk and act. But things don’t turn out well; when one of the other dolls attacks her assuming that The Alice Game is being played out, it sets into motion the ill feelings to come, where malevolence takes root…
This AMV (Anime Music Video) features Evanescence doing “Even in Death” as its backdrop, and most-suitable, as all AMV song choices should be (Full Screen it and click the High Quality button; it’s better that way):
Chobits is a beast of another color. It asks not only about what humans want, but what the Persocom wants, much as Rozen Maiden asks after the Doll. The following AMV doesn’t focus on the series’ star, Chii, so much as it does the relationship between life-sized Persocom and human. It’s somewhat spoilerish, so bear that in mind if planning to watch the show. It doesn’t reveal the main story’s plot, but rather condenses a couple of side-stories that prove essential to the relationship aspects of this series, one of which (the baker’s story) is among the most moving secondary stories not only in this show but in all of anime.
The beginning of this vid depicts the pitfalls of becoming infatuated with the technological, and the consequence of severence from meaningful human contact, as told by the young woman whose husband has forgotten her due to his shutting himself in their home with his “toys.” In the second part, the baker, upon glimpsing a girl with whom he fancied (and who liked him but was reluctant to come forward because of his past) “spying” on him, tells of his own story about his falling in love with a worker-Persocom, whom this girl resembles, and its tragic result. This AMV (despite several glaring mispellings) does such a good job of covering the issues of companionship, loneliness, and love that any further words will dampen it, so… here you go.
Another Evanescence song, “My Immortal” accompanies it; HQ and full-screen it for full effect:
And since she’s barely seen at all in the above video, here’s Chii in a fanciful setting:
Chii with her little feathered friends
Eventually, I was introduced through TDF to ball-jointed dolls, as the Rozen Maidens are supposed to be. Unable to resist their charms, I got my own BJD from Korea, a Lutz-Delf doll named Soony. She settled in quickly and also became a lover of anime! One day I found a rare Chobits picture book compilation, and in her spare moments she can be seen reading it, much like Chii did in Chobits. It was called “The Town With No People”, and mirrored Chii’s wonderment at the sensations she was discovering of and on her own…:
Soony likes to read xD
And since we’re on several intertwining subjects, here’s the beautiful Ending Theme from Chobits featuring the characters from that picture-book. It’s called “Ningyo Hime” (Mermaid Princess), and sung by Rie Tanaka, the voice of Chii:
To wrap things up, it’s wise to not assume things about matters that we’re simply unfamiliar with. “Fear of the unknown” is a cliche, and we’re at our best when we’re challenging the unknown, not held in thrall by it. We can even learn to play better with each other! Even The Dolls know that Â
Even dolls know how to play well with dolls
 And, a last plug for Rozen Maiden (this Limited Edition felt-covered box set is long out of print, but a newer thinpak version was released recently, so BUY IT IF YOU LIKE IT!):
...and on Lily, who's trying to help out
So, in short: have fun, think for yourself, play as you like, use your imagination, and be boundless! Or, in the alternative, simply become Unbound
It’s that time of year again, where we have/use ONE day in order to give thanks. One measly day? Wow. We have ALL of these days in the year; wouldn’t it be so much nicer to feel thankful for at least a few more of them? We do have so much to be thankful for, right? Just an idea: let’s be thankful every day for what we do have. Because as bad as it seems, it could be so very much worse. We don’t have to look very far to see that…
I won’t go over all the things that Really Matter which we take for granted; I’m sure that you’ll be more than likely to come across them written up and collected in newspapers, blogs, websites, books, magazines, and various other encounters that you might have face-to-face today. Besides, you know very well what they are anyway! (hint if you don’t: THINK!)
Take a moment alone when you can find it. Find yourself a beautiful, peaceful place outside, and sit, away from man-made things like steel, concrete and plaster. Close your eyes for a moment, near the providence that that Hand has gifted us with, or, if not so inclined, in that Place where we have found ourselves landed; feel the grass and ground beneath your fingers; smell the scent of the Earth in the air; then open your eyes and take a look around; live. “Feel, see, and breathe…” mmh, yes.
One of my most-favorite Poets, Jack Micheline, wrote this poem on his last day on Earth, while riding a BART train in the San Francisco Bay Area. It’s just called “Poem”…
POEMÂ
To capture the feeling
To feel its pulse
To see the stream has been muddied
I am busy reshaping the stars
I cannot be bothered with your
Earthly pleasures
All these rantings and ravings
Have nothing to do with poetry
Have nothing to do with magic
Only the ears of butterflies
And birds
And the delicate moths
Matter
Let the Angels in
Let them into this Market
Now
Feel, see, and breathe
(Jack Micheline, February 25, 1998)
Soony gives thanks for YOU!
Yes, we live in ” This Ugly Yet Beautiful World,” but rather than focus on its ugliness, as the media, politicians, cynics, skeptics and naysayers wish you to, just, for a few moments, see what it is that is beautiful. There is much to be seen if you look for it, and listen to it, and honestly attempt to feel it. Then give quiet, silent thanks in your heart that we are able to live in these “interesting times.” And if you want to make these perilous times even more interesting, try to do something to effect a change… in the world, in your family and friends, and in your Self. Change really isn’t so scary; things are changing all the time, right? The scary thing about change is when it’s all out of control. Kind of like now.
So, take control. Be fear-less. Make a change that will benefit the world, even if it’s a small thing: any positive thing or even thought will be of good use, because after all, “thoughts are things.” Especially in these cynical times, what the World needs now is Love. We can do that, right? It comes in so many flavors and facets and facilities…
And then we can add that to the things for which to be Thankful
Another poem by Jack Micheline:
Only Rare Things Create
When love creates
      When tenderness creates
       It is the greatest of all sounds
       When man and woman creates a baby is born
       When fear creates anger is born
When loneliness creates despair is born
When business creates hype is born
When newspapers create politicians are born
When art galleries create money is born
Cemeteries don’t create
Museums don’t create
Hospitals don’t create
Prisons don’t create
Power don’t create
Only love creates
and it is the rarest thing of all
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 Ain’t that the Truth? It may take a Poet to see it, but it takes a You to feel it
Happy Thanksgiving! And I’ll just add that I am most Thankful for You, so… Thank… YOU! :-D
Today marks Lily(Doll)’s fifth birthday, and my fifth year of being a truly lucky guy
Lily in Natural Light, x 2... in waning sunlight; no flash
Five years ago today she emerged from out of the creators’ mold and was born and borne ”from out of the printed page into the Sensual World”. Very shortly after the subsequent curing process she was made-up, dressed, crated, presented with a (synthetik) rose for her journey, and sent to her new home, and her new “owner”. Who owns who is still a matter up for debate
I’ll never forget that first moment after opening her shipping crate and beholding her beauty, her presence, and her person. It was just like the phrase uttered in The Godfather: I was struck with the thunderbolt. Barely having the presence of mind to take a photograph to record this momentous occasion, I then managed to hastily document the event. Things like “posing” “lighting” and “eye-contact” were non-issues with me during this mad rush of condensed yet expanded time; I merely wanted to get the photos done with and out of the way, and finally meet my old friend from out of the pages of the wondrous story she’d been telling me, and starring in, for years upon years upon years…
But not just any doll would do. Unless fully and as completely as possible replicating her Self from the story, the character could not be properly fleshed out, the illusion would not be made manifest, and the spell not successfully cast. She would have to be convincing. There were very few options available to choose from in those early days of life-sized dolls, but when I stumbled across the Realdoll site, my choice was made clear: they alone had the capability to flesh Lily Godwin out, and bring her into the World.
The day after completing my first draft of Unbound (on Christmas Day 2003), and after having spent some weeks researching RealDolls in great depth, I placed my order for her at Abyss Studios’ online site. What with literally over a million possibilities in design options, I’d very carefully chosen all of her elements to match exactly her enthrallingly realistic, down to earth, sweet, devoted and beautiful counterpart in the novel, and then prepared myself for the four-month wait for production. It was… excruciating.
It wasn’t so much the cost; I simply rationed that I had paid $5K more for my house and let it go at that. The money was no object, for we had Big Plans with regard to our intent in “bringing her to life” and anything given toward this end was of no question whether of energy, well-being, or expenditure. I was giving it my all. At this time I was just past two years of feverish and near-constant work on our novel, unemployed and with no prospects for work. I was working, after all, and while consistently pinching pennies during this time I was intent on making writing my purpose in life; this has been my mission ever since I was in my teens. And as Lily-the-Muse had inspired me with the ideas and words, and Lily-Godwin-the-character showed me in the pages of her story and the visualizing of her essence, Lily-the-Doll was to supply tangible, visual proof of her and the tale’s existence, and not the least, her companionship as we journeyed ever-closer to publication. And “companionship” is one of the (many) key concepts in Unbound, so it was more than fitting…
And then, five years ago, there she was, here she was, in the silicone-flesh. My companion-in-mind brought to as much life as she could hope to have, her imaginary world fused with my real one, and yes, she cast her spell on me and over most of those few who have been able to see her up close and personal. Photos really don’t do them justice; you hear this time and again. It shouldn’t be much of a revelation to understand that dolls can be very magical things, but they are dependent upon your imagination, your willingness to accept and yes, love them, and the care you take with providing them a suitable environent in which to live. For there they do live…
Before I discovered anime, around the time I ordered Lily-doll, a doll-related forum I had joined (name withheld to protect the innocent and those not-so-much) made frequent mention to two series of note: Rozen Maiden, and Chobits. Both of these dealt with the doll/synthetik concept in varying degrees of relevance, and were among the first shows I checked out. Without this connection I probably would not have made my discovery of or venture into this fascinating world of animation bringing imagination to life. Entering the Doll-World has brought me much joy and happiness and introduced me to many sympathetic, genuine, and downright awesome people and doll-owners such as Davecat and his singularly lovely Sidore Kuroneko, to name but one (pair of) significant(s). I owe them many thanks
Now for an aside or two: In Rozen Maiden: Traumend (its second season), the protagonist Jun encounters a doll-maker named Enju, who introduces him to this world of dolls with a heartfelt little speech about these creations and their limited capacity to transmit/receive love. It’s about two minutes into the following excerpt that comprises the last third of that second episode; the only version online I could find has translations much inferior to those of the official releases, so if intrigued by this anime about magical ball-jointed dolls buy the official releases to fully enjoy the story!  (You can find the recently-released box set comprising seasons 1 and 2 at your favorite online dealer.) While a bit silly in parts (and quite dark in others) the story it tells is at the least entertaining (YMMV & etc) and at its greatest deep, allegorical, and enthralling, and that is what story-telling is all about
Lily trying to handle some mischievous dolls
(For best results viewing the following video click the HD and Full Screen buttons!)
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Chobits is a different matter altogether, and explores more deeply the nature of relationships between synthetiks and humans, and of what Society views as ”appropriate” companionship. In its near-future story-world, Hideki discovers a discarded persocom in the trash and takes her home. Chii is (very basically) a lifelike personal computer, like so many others that humans have become used to co-existing with in this believable sci-fi/fantasy tale. They’ve become so dependent upon and integrated with them that as a result people are becoming more distant with one another. In (only) one respect it’s a comment on man’s infatuation with technology, but it’s far deeper than that. For Chii is much more than a machine, with a special Purpose, and a very special “on/off” switch that hints at a parallel with love-doll versus sex-doll arguments and attendant “relationship” issues…
Chii with friends; fanart
The following is a fan-made Anime Music Video incorporating as its background music the beautiful second ending theme to Chobits, “Ningyo Hime”, and sung by Rie Tanaka who voices Chii whom you’ll hear a bit of at the end if you stick it out, and you should (Spoilers are here if planning to watch this show, so beware!)
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And so, Lily-chan is very much a love-doll, a companion, an inspiration, and dearly beloved. It needn’t even be added that I do realize that she isn’t human (like, duh), but so many fools insist on acting as such and declare that doll-owners are deluded perverts because that’s the only level on which their feeble minds can operate on, perceiving them solely as sex objects. These creations are so much more than that  insultingly simplistic “sex-doll” description. I’ve long since wearied of these idiotic “debates” presented by those unable and unwilling to truly understand. We’ve done nearly a dozen interviews with media around the world and the same questions/accusations come up time and again, although following the release of the film Lars and the Real Girlsome sense of tolerance seems to have been hammered into the public’s perception. Simply put, you can’t understand if you don’t try to, and using one’s imagination is a good place to start
But all too many people are still frightened not only by the uncommon and “different” but also by their imaginations, which truly is a sad and somewhat tragic thing. For they’ve lost the ability to play, to wonder, to stand in awe… in short, they’ve lost the ability to enjoy the best of what life can offer: to Imagine the nonexistent, and to Create what one imagines…
At her very least and lowest purpose, Lily-doll is simply a promotional tool for her novel. (She got your interest, didn’t she?  ) At her highest and most significant, she is a companion, a play-thing, and a stimulus to my imagination, my pleasure (no, not that kind, duh again), and my spirit. For this Alastor is a recombinant of that Spirit of Solitude, and she has made him very happy; where before he was alone, solitary, depressed, and who over-worked was set apart by his Ordeal; she provided her Remedy and brought him relief, when no-one else cared to. She has, in all her aspects, character, Muse, and Doll, been a God-send. And for that (among other things) I gratefully thank Him, Her, or It, as the Case may Be.
Now go and play with your Self Â
Lily in natural light x2 #2; sunrise, no flash, with friend
In keeping with the theme of “being human”, I wanted to delve further into the lyrics for “Illusion” by vnv nation (included in the previous post). But, you know… interpretation is a personal thing, really. While the songwriter most likely has one idea?around which?their song is centered on, once it leaves their hands it becomes the Beholder’s art-work to interpret as it relates to them. And it may be something else quite entirely. To me, this is one of the most wonderful things about Art…
That being said… the previous entry used the song “Illusion” as a backdrop to the story of Makoto, and her own struggle with sacrificing her life in one form while struggling to retain her humanity in another. Today’s entry uses the same great song in an entirely different manner, examining the Synthetiks’ concept of “Life” and what it must?strive for?in understanding?the human perspective, or what it perceives as such…
Ever since watching “Bladerunner” (which was based on Philip K. Dick’s “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”), I’d become fascinated with the concept of replicants of various types and their yearning for understanding what it is “to be human”, and what it means to be human.?In recent decades, we, as a race, seem to have fallen further and further away from appreciating just what that is, and in the process becoming ever more unfeeling, blocked-off, and de-sensitized. Not to even mention much less virtuous, considerate, and loving…?we become more machine-like every day, while the machines…?
These concepts (to a greater or lesser degree) are addressed in anime such as Chobits, and the currently-running Eve no Jikan series. Both bear watching if this subject is of interest to you, though Eve no Jikan (aka “Time of Eve”)?may be?difficult to find.
But that?topic will have to wait, for it’s one that can’t just be thrown together; today there’s much work to be done with regards to my “living conditions” and so time’s too scarce to do?it justice. For?your consideration and hoped-for reflection, I’ve included a pair of videos.?The first is “Doll Face” by the very talented Andy Huang, with music by vnv nation (”Illusion”), and the second is the music video for Bjork’s “All is Full of Love”. Both include some very ingenious and provocative “animotion”, the quality of which is not often seen.?
I can’t say enough about Bjork, whom I’ve long adored and respected for her courage, honesty, and integrity expressed in staying true to herself and her Vision. Her video for “All is Full of Love” from her Homogenic album, follows…
ALL IS FULL OF LOVE
You’ll be given love
you’ll be taken care of
you’ll be given love
you have to trust it
Maybe not from the sources
you have poured yours
Maybe not from the directions
you are staring at
Trust your head around
it’s all around you
all is full of love
all around you
All is full of love : you just ain’t receiving
All is full of love : your phone is off the hook
All is full of love : your doors are all shut
All is full of love
Isn’t it strange that while we acknowledge and hear the words of our artists and philosophers, that we don’t often act on their?ideals?or truly feel their empathy? Oh, we do note, and mark, and debate endlessly, but do we really listen, reflect, and feel? Do we truly aspire to, or do we wall ourselves off from, feelings of such depth? Afraid of the deep waters we’re collectively content to?wade at the edge of the pool…
We watch, but don’t see; hear, but don’t listen; grasp, but don’t touch. We record. Like machines do. And machines are the superior recorders. But… they can’t Feel as we do. They can’t Love as we can. They don’t have the Soul with which to connect to each other, as we do, and with the World, as we are. Because we are all connected, and have this in common. And, believe it or not, whether it might be or it’s not, this is Love. But that’s my interpretation. What’s yours? Listen to that “still, small voice inside”, because, that is You
I recently came across a fantastic song entitled “Illusion” by a heretofore-unknown (to me) band called vnv nation. So unknown that I’m still unsure as to where and if capital letters are included in their name. The message remains however: this is a great song and the composition and lyrics both tell of a real Song Writer. As this particular topic crosses categories of many types, please bear with me as I snip it into two entries…
While searching for a particular Anime Music Video (AMV) in order to “campaign” for a character from the series Kanon, I found this stunning tribute to Makoto Sawatari, who plays one of the five girls whose lives have been affected by the protagonist, Yuuichi. (The campaign is for her nomination for inclusion in the 2009 International Saimoe League, which will be the subject of a later post.) I’ve often mentioned Kanon (2006) here, being as it’s probably my favorite anime story. I’m going to break with (my) tradition and reveal some spoilers, so as to better enable you to understand the following video, and as it relates to the song’s lyrics. If any readers intend to watch Kanon, this WILL spoil some of its secrets with regard to Makoto, so please bear this in mind! If not intending to watch it, then (a) you won’t be spoiled, and (b) you might learn something about this wonderful Japanese art-form…
First, about the story…
In Kanon, Yuuichi returns to a “snow-covered city” where as a child he used to spend summer with his Aunt Akiko and cousin Nayuki. The story revolves around him attempting to piece together his shattered (with good reason) memory, and the connectivity of the five special girls he encounters, some from his past, some present, and some… rather time-less.?One summer long ago, he came across a wounded fox-cub while exploring, and brought it home to his aunt’s house where he secretly kept it upstairs in his room while he tended to it, talked to it, and cared for it. The little cub grew dependent on him, and listened to him chat about his life, his interests, and in particular, his crush on an older neighbor named… Makoto Sawatari.?
But, “to all good things must come an end”… and at summer’s end, knowing that he had to leave to return to his parents home, he brought the cub back to the hill where he’d found it, and set it free, running tearfully away as the cub, bewildered at this sudden separation, searched frantically for him, as time passed them?by, both of them…
Now, some?years later,?a much-older Yuuichi returns. Seven years ago An Event happened which has clouded some of his memories and obliterated others. So, when walking downtown one day and he is assaulted on the sidewalk by a cloaked and hooded girl, he is not too surprised that he doesn’t recognize her. But, she does him, although as to her own identity, she is, for some reason, uncertain.?Discovering that she has no place to go to and assuming that she’s a runaway, he brings her to his aunt’s house where he’s?once again?living. Akiko allows her to stay while they try to find her?family.
FROM EPISODE 7, “Fugue”: During this time, her antagonistic attitude toward Yuuichi mellows somewhat, though she does, for some reason unknown to either of them, harbor a serious grudge against him. One day a little kitten?”adopts her”, and the three of them walk over an overpass and stop to?discuss what to do with it. Holding it at the railing she muses that?”in the end, animals just get?thrown away when they’re no longer wanted. Don’t you agree, Yuuichi?” His response is cut short as she continues: “Instead of thoughtlessly giving it a peaceful life with the humans, it would be better off if it were returned to the wild.”??And she lets it go…
Furious, Yuuichi berates her and she runs off, and doesn’t come home. After dinner, he goes looking for her, and eventually spies her on Monomi Hill, sitting on the hilltop. He sees that she and the cat have somehow found each other again, and overhears her saying to it, “We’re the same, you know. Nuisances with nowhere to go.” She curls up with it and falls asleep, exhausted from her searching. Yuuichi carries her home, passing on the way a fox, who watches them intently before scampering off…
In the middle of the night she awakens, and is surprised that she has been brought back to the house. Akiko treats her as family, and they sit down together for?a midnight snack as she, bewildered, regards these strangers who express such concern and care for her…
Over the next three episodes of her story arc… Well, I can’t tell the WHOLE story here! If you’ve read “Flowers For Algernon”, or seen its film adaptation “Charly” starring Cliff Robertson, that’s kind of the gist. Kind of.?Makoto begins to lose her humanity…
A girl who knows more than she wants to let on, Amano, tells?Yuuichi a story about the mythical magical foxes on Monomi Hill. But Yuuichi believes in magic just about as you or I would… and yet Kanon is a story about magic, and miracles, and dreams. And Real Life… They are all intertwined
I’ll allow the video to tell (most of) the rest of the story. (And, if interested, Kanon (2006) is available on DVD *hint hint*…) While watching, note the relationship between the lyrics and the visuals and it?may come to you. Interpretation is always a grey area, and telling exactly what a lyric means should always be left to the Listener. It changes with your situation, and with others’… please enjoy, and thanks to vnv nation for this great song!
ILLUSION
[February 2007]
I know it’s hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt I don’t want you to change
Because everyone has hopes
You?re human after all
The feeling sometimes wishing you were someone else
feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness
This feeling is not joy
I truly understand
Please don’t cry now
Please, don’t go
I want you to stay
I’m begging you, please
Please, don’t leave here
I don?t want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Being like you are
well this is something else.
Who would comprehend?
But some that do lay claim
that divine purpose blesses them
Well that’s not what I believe
and it doesn’t matter anyway.
A part of your soul ties you to the next world
or maybe to the last but I’m still not sure
What I do know is to us the world is different
as we are to the world
I guess you would know that
Please, don’t go
I want you to stay
I’m begging you, please
Please, don’t leave here
I don?t want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please, don’t go
I want you to stay
I’m begging you, please
Please, don’t leave here
I don?t want you to change for all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion always trying to change you
I was finally able to watch Lars and the Real Girl last week, and since it’s so obviously a subject close to my heart thought I’d write up a review of this wonderful, heartwarming movie. I was really hesitant to see it at first, because movies and shows about dolls almost always focus on the “creepy” factor, and predictably end up with the hero “coming to his senses” and destroying, disposing of, or leaving behind his artificial companion in favor of a more socially-acceptable resolution. Much to my surprise and delight, Craig Gillespie’s direction combines with Nancy Oliver’s brilliant writing and together they produced a film that is memorable, funny, and provocative, in the sense of using the doll as a device to bring people together rather than the cliched conflict-heavy plots of the more pedestrian (and forgettable) films of the past.
But the star of the show (other than Bianca-Doll) is Ryan Gosling, who brings forth an incredibly deep and realistic portrayal of Lars as a sweet, gentle, yet troubled young man, not because of his need for or his interaction with a life-sized doll, but someone in the grips of a crippling loneliness which leads to his manifesting his delusion into flesh, albeit silicone flesh. Such a convincing and rich performance should not be missed; Ryan brings to Lars a unique perspective and flawless depiction of a young man seeking love without even knowing it, making his choices in the best way that he knows how, given his isolated and cramped comfort-zone. Despite the apparent fantasy of his delusion, he brings the role to life with real understanding, and his interactions with Bianca are so true-to-life despite the unlikelihood of his situation. Not many viewers will likely relate to it, but they will to Lars’ genuine attempts to break the shell that he lives in.
From an interview included on the DVD, he says this: “Lars is very lonely, but he doesn’t make a choice out of loneliness to be loved; he makes a choice to love something.”
But how can one find love when wrapped so tightly in a cocoon of solitude? How can one deal with that crushing solitude in the presence of everyone else’s (presumably healthy and happy) relationships? And, how can one cope with the lack of happiness without imposing his bleak outlook or “problem” on his loved ones and companions? Lars doesn’t know, but he’s about to find out, with the help and support of his family and friends, and Bianca. I’ll admit to finding the likelihood that everyone in the town would be so tolerant rather than riding him out of town on a rail as unrealistic, but that contrast is exactly the charm of this film, and it offers hope that we as a society might do the same and be kind, wise, and tolerant rather than the cynical and derisive beings that we’ve become.
Early on, one scene stuck out in its starkness: Lars sitting alone in his garage-home, in the dark, and isolated in every aspect despite the affectionate invitation just shown him by Karin. It’s as if he can’t feel anything warm or loving, every bit as much as he can’t tolerate being touched, which he so obviously needs to be. Dagmar tries (with varying degrees of success) but Lars is resolute; it hurts him when someone displays any physical affection.
The supporting cast is wonderfully chosen and there isn’t a false note out of any of them: Paul Schneider as Gus, Lars’ incredulous brother; Emily Mortimer as Karin, Gus’ concerned wife, Kelli Garner as Margo, Lars’ cute co-worker, and Patricia Clarkson as Dagmar, the wise and understanding doctor who “treats” Bianca, but really trying to help Lars deal with his delusion that Bianca is a living person. When they (and all the townspeople) begin to accept Bianca as exactly that, Lars begins his journey out of his cocoon, and emerges, if not triumphantly, then gracefully, beautifully; like a butterfly…
At church, in another early scene, the preacher says, “Love one another. That is the one, true law. Love is God in action.” You don’t need to be a believer to believe that (It should come as no surprise to those who know me that, given my own manifestation of my character of Lily Godwin as a Realdoll, that this is a prominent message that runs through her novel as well. See her section and the excerpt on Unbound.org for details.)
So the film isn’t so much about a man and his life-sized “sex doll” but rather about the doll bringing everyone together to help someone they love. In fact, one of my favorite things about Lars is that it never focuses on the sexual aspects of the doll (other than the townpeople’s hilarious reactions); Bianca is truly a “love doll”. That is a significance that everyone needs to understand, and get their minds out of the ever-convenient-and-present gutter. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I guess. Only the uninitiated (and outright horn-dogs lol) consider them as simply sex toys. Given how society is these days that is sadly unsurprising. So, all we can do is break that assumption down, and Lars succeeds in this manner spectacularly.
I took extensive notes during the flim; here are a few from the hastily-jotted selections; they are written so as to avoid spoilers:
The Realdoll website in the film is only partly “real”; they don’t use the cheesy voiceovers of the dolls shown in the film which come out like any porn-flick actress’ would. But yes, the combinations with all the options available is in the millions, as Director Gillespie says in the short documentary. This is how I got Lily to look so convincingly close to how I imagined her in the story (some pics of her are shown well below this post).
A good example of how the dolls serve the observers’ imagination was shown when Karin begins talking to Bianca about her job, and how the townspeople used Bianca to provide them with what they wanted, a librarian, church member, even a mirror for their own beliefs as to how a woman should be treated. A doll (any doll) is a toy for the imagination; or, you might say, a tool. And a fertile imagination is a good thing
Dagmar’s first meeting Bianca, and examining her in front of Lars: “Her blood pressure’s low.” Later, when talking with Karin and Gus, who’s distraught at his brother’s delusion, she says, “Bianca is real. She’s in town for a reason.”
At their first breakfast, where an obviously disgusted Gus is not feeling well enough to go to work, Lars suggests that Bianca might help him get better, as “she’s had nurse’s training.” Pushed over his limit, Gus responds, “No, she doesn’t have nurse’s training – she’s just a big, plastic thing!” Ignoring the remark (or refusing to hear it), Lars turns to Bianca and turns back to Gus. “Did you hear that? Bianca says that’s why God made her – to help people.”
When Gus tells his co-workers about Bianca, one of them says, “Wish I had a woman who didn’t talk.” This misogynist statement is about as common as is that uttered by other ignorant folk such as, “The dolls are creepy and so are those who own them.” But as that isn’t exactly misogynist, I’ll settle for reprobatist. If that’s even a word. In any case, both are too common, but typical given the lack of awareness and sensitivity we have towards each other these days.
Interesting to note Lars’ co-workers who treasure action-figures and teddy-bears, giving them their affections; at one point a church member chastises another intolerant member with, “Your cousin dresses his cat up and (another) gives donations to a UFO society!” So, what is “weird,” exactly? Whatever the flock of sheep doesn’t accept as the safely-weird du jour? That changes daily, and who cares to even want to keep track of what they deem acceptable? I guess those that need to belong… need to be approved of… need to be seen as “unthreatening” to the flock/herd/masses. A doll threatens that because she (or he) can be a replacement for those lacking in tolerance but who demand tolerance of their disdain. And that’s unacceptable to them because they need to have those they can flog.
Lars comments about Bianca were insights into himself, using the doll as a proxy therapist: He is going to take her to the lake, and explains to Gus, “Bianca’s asking me all these questions -she wants to know all about me.” At Dagmar’s, after a pitying remark, he says, “She doesn’t feel sorry for herself. She just wants to be normal and have everyone treat her normal.” Later on, he is reading to her from a book, the passage says: “But what distressed him greatly was not having another hermit there to confess him.” So, even though he can’t explain it well to others, Lars is very self-aware, and knows what he wants, and needs. Bianca is truly helping him to come to terms with what these things might be.
Margo to Lars when she’s in a down mood regarding a breakup: “He wasn’t that interesting.” Lars: “Then why was he your boyfriend?” Margo: “I get lonely.” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah…” Which, aside from just feeling lonely, does address a problem we have today in this give-it-to-me-quick society: Hasty relationships based on initial physical attraction without a thought toward what the person is really like or a true compatability, as long as one can be seen as “involved” which is much rather preferable than being seen as single, or a loner, or worse… But loneliness is common to everyone; dealing with it is how we escape that void. And Lars, with Bianca’s help is trying…
I have to admit loving Margo; Kelli Garner, the actress who portrays her, was so good, and so cute (I’d have definitely approached her right away lol) I don’t want to give too much away, but I noted Lars’ difficulties with Bianca emerging right after he sees Margo getting involved with another co-worker. After he and she go bowling together, there’s a short deleted scene where Lars approaches Bianca who’s sitting in the tub; but clearly he’s feeling more distant, troubled over his enjoyable time with Margo. Fully-clothed, he gets in the tub, but doesn’t communicate, except for a feeble, “Hi.”
Another brief scene which I enjoyed was from another sermon at church, where the preacher quoted, “When I was a child, I spake as a child. I understood as a child…” I’m not sure, but I think that this might have been used in Wim Wenders’ remarkable film (and my favorite) Wings of Desire (which coincidentally is a story that someone compared Lily’s novel to.)
One of the final touching scenes was when Bianca was feeling unwell, and Karin asked through the shut bedroom door after getting no responses, “Bianca? Don’t you want to see this beautiful day?” And so the door opens… and when that happens, as the saying goes…
I liked the Fellini quote at the end: “If there were a little more silence, if we all kept quiet… maybe we could understand something.” Brilliant!
And this from Director Craig Gillespie: “The premise of the movie doesn’t do justice for the journey you go on.” That’s exactly the problem I’m having with selling Lily’s story. Too many query requirements demand you describe that, and some things are just too inexpressible to be done as concisely as they demand, and need to be directly experienced by the recipient of the work. Namely, You
In short, as Craig says (I think), “the movie is about people communicating with each other and coming together, and about connecting, and the doll is a conduit for that.”
And, it’s about Love. This is a scene from the anime series Rozen Maiden, which tells of those magical (ball-jointed) dolls’ adventures. Jun, the young protagonist, is visiting the doll-maker’s shop, and is speaking to Enju, the dollmaker, who says, “The feelings you put into a doll are all the same. As long as you pour love into them, they continue to live.” Jun: “Love…” Enju: “When love disappears, they die. They become lost. No matter who it is.” He cradles his newly-made doll, smiles, and says to it, “Hello.”
There is more to Life, and Love, than meets the eye. Lily hopes that you may read her story one day to discover this, and that
Kudos to all those who got together to make this film: producers, director, writer and actors. It is truly wonderful! Nancy Oliver said that she got the idea from visiting a doll-forum where doll-owners who don’t treat their dolls as simple sex-receptacles exist, and rumor says that a handful of us might have provided the portraits around which her story was framed. If so, she gets a heartfelt thanks for portraying us not as misfits of society, but people worthy of being understood. While none of us are delusional (I don’t think!), she definitely “gets” the relationships between us and our dolls. It’s only as weird as you think; therefore, any problems lie not with us…
Whether you’re intrigued by the dolls or not, everyone should see this film for the lessons in tolerance and deeper understanding it teaches. Thanks to the creators and the actors who so deftly delivered The Word
Four years ago on April 1st, the delivery man finally came. He unloaded a 5-foot tall wooden crate, much to the bemusement of my neighbors. “What’s in the crate?” they asked. (This is a common question asked by the more bold-‘n’-nosey.) “Photography equipment,” I replied, brushing them off as I pointedly watched the man unload.
Once I’d sequestered it inside the garage (and shut the door), I set about my task. Several long moments later I’d managed to open it up, and there, sitting and strapped securely inside was Lily Godwin, brought to “life.” She was literally breathtaking: a five foot-tall silicone replicant of the beloved character from our novel, the one she (as my Muse) had helped me write over the previous years. That first moment is permanently etched in my brain. I could scarcely remember to breathe.
Her long black hair a mess from the bumpy journey from San Diego, yet still clutching her red long-stemmed rose, her blue eyes seemed to flash with impatience. Her first “words” were: “GET ME OUT OF THIS TRAMPY OUTFIT!!!” Abyss, the company that assembles RealDolls, had thoughtfully dressed her in a sexy black negligee and nylons; quite un-Lily-like. She isn’t into showing off, making herself sexy, or even sport makeup, jewelry, piercings or tattoos. Lily Godwin doesn’t want to be marked, or bound, in any way.
So, after getting her inside the house (which is a trick, as you have to imagine carefully moving a fragile, 100-pound doll from a sitting position inside a crate, preferably without damaging her), I carefully set to my task, sloooowly peeling off the nylons. After removing the skimpy getup that had so annoyed her, I could barely stand! Quickly (somewhat), I dressed her in her comfortable clothing that I’d had the foresight to buy: a butterfly top and tan skirt that fit her just right. She’s a barefoot, natural girl, so no shoes or socks of any kind. She doesn’t have to go to work, here.
I could tell that she was happy
(I should also add that nothing can convey the reality of these works of art through two-dimensional photography. Simply put, they are stunningly beautiful.)
Four years later, we’re still together, and I would have it no other way; with no regrets or concerns about what others might “think.” She so successfully recreates Lily from the novel that it is as if she is really Here, and not confined to the limits of my imagination. She sets us both free. It’s too bad that only those who actually own a RealDoll can understand this; outsiders can only wonder, accuse, and sneer at what they can’t understand. They lack imagination, and playfulness, both drowned in their cynicism and hate.
For the curious, I’ll go to any length to help you understand. For the rubes, I dismiss outright your ignorant incapability to comprehend. For the haters, I scoff at your narrow-minded stupidity. There is more to a RealDoll than just a guy playing with a doll. There is more than simply the assumed necessity for him (or her) to use it for sexual gratification. There is more to it than the presumed delusional belief that it is actually alive.
There is nothing to compare it with. And so, a lot of unaware people have trouble coping with them, thus this hopefully helpful friendly explanation: They are what you imagine. Period. If you have no imagination, you won’t get it. If you think playing is for kids, you won’t get it. If you can’t appreciate Art in all its myriad forms, you won’t get it. If you just accept it, you will get it. Don’t let others control what you think about them; let your Self interpret it. It’s better to think for your Self, anyway
(A little more information will be found on Lily’s page at the UNBOUND website, found on the Blogrolls, and the Photo Album has a few photographs of Lily-Doll as well.)
The doll is every bit the character of Lily Godwin as she is in her story. She isn’t interested in being flashy, sexy, or any more attractive than necessary. She’s more focused on raising William responsibly, isn’t into dating, and is mainly concerned with surviving in the rat-race of San Francisco and getting by as best she can despite her doubts and health issues. Therefore, as far as heroines go, she doesn’t need to be an Amazon-queen, sex-goddess, or sarcastic wise-mouthing jaded bitch. She’s devotion personified, and so she is named “Lily,” which means “devotion.”
She’s Lily Godwin, a caring, loving, and somewhat carefree young woman; independent, responsible, and devoted to her cause and her duty to Will. She has issues regarding what she believes is true, she suffers silently the ravages of time, and she knows that she must leave, and probably soon. Where she doesn’t know; how she can’t imagine; why… she is about to find out. We hope you join her on her reluctant journey to discover her destiny or fate. It isn’t going to be pretty, but as you can see, she is pretty enough
In UNBOUND, April 1st is her birthday (though I had to cut it out of the narrative when pruning its length down). In it, and on it, “Brother Al” gives her a Tarot reading and decides on a whim (or does he know more than he tells?) to use The Fool as her Significator. And so it’s no small coincidence to have received her on April Fool’s Day, over three months after I designed her RealDoll form with no estimate for when she would arrive at my doorstep. There have been many, many such coincidental delights during the course of its writing. Discovering that I could design a doll to replicate her was just another…
But those are stories for another day. It’s Lily’s day, today (or yesterday actually; just pretend). It’s been such a fun ride
Okayyy… anyone who isn’t into Dolls, feel free to pass on this one; you won’t understand my venomous rant. In addition, if not of the Collector mentality, this won’t interest you either, nor will you relate to it. Also, anyone who thinks guys who are into Dolls are weird, feel free to fuck off and leave. Now.
There. A little less crowded. So here’s what happened:
/rant on: Back in May I was all set to begin learning about website development so I could get my site built in order to promote Lily’s book. This is the top-most priority in my life. For the last six full years I’ve been essentially isolated (for all intents and purposes) from relationships and company. I needed to do this in order to write the novel, which I did. Fine so far.
Aside from my sweetheart kitty Pennie, the only other real delights in my life have come from the dolls; at that point only Lily-Doll and Eden-Doll. Early in May I discovered anime, and the second one I watched was Rozen Maiden. I fell in love with this series, especially easy since I’d just been involved with dolls and understood their magic; it was already in place in my life. Needless to say, it is one of my favorites, unrankable as well as incomparable, and very personal, like Chobits.
So when I saw little dolls manufactured by Jun Planning’s Pullip line that replicated the Rozens I just HAD to have them, even at around $100 each. They were so adorable, and they captured the likenesses of the characters even better than the real Ball-Jointed Dolls that were also patterned after them did, and around $600 more expensive. (The Rozen Maidens in the anime are supposed to be Ball-Jointed Dolls; if intrigued please see the Wiki link above, which Is Your Friend.)
Anyway, since May I’ve been carefully watching for and then ordering each Pullip Rozen as it came out and even getting the older ones from last holiday season. After attaining all seven of them, and seeing that the “last” Rozen Maiden, Kirakishou, was not going to be made, or if so, not released until next year, I relaxed and then began working on the website and Blog schooling and assembly-type stuff.
I checked in with my Pullip forum from time to time and didn’t see anything about an upcoming release date for Kira, so was pretty secure in the knowledge that I could spend the money I’d saved for her on a REAL Ball-Jointed Doll, the Luts-Delf Soony. Just the same, I checked in at least every two weeks, even while working. Nothing but a mention of a prototype, and a picture of Kira, which REALLY gave me HIGH HOPES that she would be a regular release, and in my hands eventually, with all of her sisters.
Jun Planning KNEW Kira was coming out but didn’t even have the courtesy to put her out in sufficient numbers for those Rozen fans who had already put out ~$700 in acquiring the previous dolls with the intent of getting a FULL AND COMPLETE SET.
All of a sudden she was up for pre-order (limited to only ONE THOUSAND DOLLS), sold out on pre-order, and of course the fastest pigs to the trough snapped them up to sell for big profits on eBay.
(And no, I don’t consider fellow collectors to be pigs; just the opportunistic, manipulative, and greedy profiteers, who contribute nothing to collecting but headaches, heartaches, and grief. They’ve spoiled Collecting, along with all the anal-retentive slabbers and grading fanatics so prolific these days. Worthless, greedy, self-serving, self-centered miscreants, and they’re turning collectors into creatures just like them. Wonderful.)
Good luck getting an honest deal on eBay. Now we’ll have to pay rip-off prices and end up spending about half the set’s cost to buy just one doll, and one that should have been included on their schedule for fairness to all.
Suffice to say that at this point I’ll be damned before I buy another series issue from them, or even another Pullip. HOW can people ENJOY this shit? It’s not fun at all! “Oh yes, PLEASE pull the rug out from under me unexpectedly just one more time; I do love it so!” *rolls eyes*
Anyway, to lighten things up, here’s a new photoshoot of the Rozens I do have welcoming Soony to her (and their) home. But whenever I look at them now I see an incomplete set… and that was EXACTLY what I was trying to avoid. DAMMIT!!! I want Kirakishouuuu…
So, resigned to our incompleteness and the folly of having had trusted a collectibles company with no conscience, scruples, or ethics, I’ve simply stroked their little heads, brushed back their hair, and smoothed their pretty clothes; soon I do feel slightly better. They’ve got that power. But (most of) you know that already… unless you’ve bonded with dolls, you can’t possibly know. Which is why I advised those who don’t to skip this post LOL
/rant off, Jesus H. Christ…
(Largely edited due to reconsideration, but the facts remain the same. Eat it, JP. Unless you wisely and rightly make another release of Kirakishou. I’m not done with this yet…)
My buddy Dave called earlier this week telling me about the Lars and the Real Girl movie, and asking whether that was the same kind of doll that Lily is. He’s seen photos of Lily-Doll before; everyone I know has as I’m not shy about sharing her with them! I haven’t rubbed her in anyone’s faces though so she rarely comes up in conversation. Until now LOL
It appears that Lars has caused a tremendous interest in life-sized love dolls, at least judging by the numbers at the forum I frequent. Most telling of all is that not one negative post or trolling from all the new visitors occurred. Some long-awaited understanding, curiosity, and tolerance is being shown by the public, which is 180 degrees from what had been the usual attitude of derision, repugnance, and ridicule. About fucking time.
Well, I imagine Dave will be calling again after reading the Associated Press interview I did this week. Interviews are no big deal to me anymore; I must have done ten or twelve by now, a third of which probably never came out, saw print, or were bullshits. So I didn’t tell anyone this one was coming, being reasonably skeptical. Two people have already called me on this and now I’m wondering if I should have told everyone after all LOL
I’m just not awed by the spotlight or tooting my own horn, I guess. I don’t like dealing with it, but it serves several good causes so I do deal. I’m pretty wary of publicity though; it’s such a two-edged sword.
People in general get so stupid about the dolls sometimes that it’s just easier not to have to face the same damn questions/assumptions/accusations all the fricking time. They didn’t use to be so bold about being so ignorant, but I guess the times have changed and they’ve gotten so much more conservative and fearful about strange, new, and different things. Not to mention ever so much nosier about what other people are doing in private, and then hauling them out into full view to castigate them where others are sure to see how righteous they are, mistaking self-righteousness for it.
Is it any wonder the vast majority of doll-owners choose to remain hidden? I sure don’t blame them. They’re smart.
So I’m sure that he’s going to chastise me about not using my screen name for the interview instead of my real one as I gave permission for. I did because (a) I’m not embarrassed in the least so why hide, (b) if/when the book gets published Lily-Doll will already be “known” and so as a pre-emptive strike to take care of that little matter should any asshole try to stir up a fuss upon publication, and (c) I’m proud to promote the dolls as more than sex toys, as lovely a sentiment as that is.
All of those are deserving topics of their own but for another time, so I’ll just continue with the interview story. I responded to a notice in the forum that Abyss (the manufacturers of Realdoll) wanted to solicit interviewees for an Associated Press article in conjunction with the Lars and the Real Girl movie. Since I trust Abyss to have checked out reporters before acting as a conduit for them, and since AP is such a major exposure and opportunity to present the dolls in a more positive light, I jumped at the chance.
I’m very glad I did. Sandy was delightful, and an enthusiastic, curious, and nonjudgmental person. So it was an easy but swift fifty minutes or so. As does happen, only a few lines were included; it wasn’t a very long article. But I felt fairly represented, all things considered. Other interviews haven’t gone as well in that regard. When you have the media wanting sensationalism and conflict above all else an impartial, benign, and understanding article about Dolls doesn’t come along too often. Not the big dolls anyway. And if and when Associated Press gets interested, you want to make sure that they get the full story so they can (hopefully) report the Truth.
We talked about a lot of things, covering such subjects as imagination, creativity, the Pygmalion myth, dolls throughout history and the rationale of why certain women feel threatened by them, and the benefits of the dolls to both sexes, and of course the more artistic and imaginative uses for them. The time went fast!
Since Lars involved his imagining that his Bianca was alive I felt obliged to point out to Sandy that most doll-owners did realize that the dolls actually weren’t, you know, really alive. We actually do know this; I feel compelled to point this out again. Also that the imagination is a powerful thing, and dolls are Magic Mirrors into them… but that’ll probably scare you LOL *sigh* -where’s a rollie-eyed smiley when I need one?
The article came out Wednesday, and to those who recognized me and are mad that I didn’t notify them, SORRY! I didn’t think it was a big deal to anyone other than myself LOL I’ve had a lot on my mind with regard to getting the blog and website up, not to mention learning all of this crap from the ground up o.O <—Regrets; I really needed this particular smiley just now.
Here are the links; the first is to the story, and the second to the accompanying video:
Welcome to Alastor's Reflection, the re-imagining of Fingal's Cave; a much more suitable environment than that poor soul's indwelling. Fingal resumes his journey in the pages of UNBOUND, while another solitary Spirit remains in this Place to muse with his Muse on the pursuit of "Life, Joy, Empire, and Victory," and the beauties therein...
 (And I believe that next year a movie will be released that will blend all 6 episodes!)
