For years Rumi has been one of my most beloved of Poets. But it has been so long since the reality of the World crushed the romantic and passionate Poet’s Voice in my heart that to describe or dissect the whys and meanings is beyond me now. I merely receive his gift, and feel it on The Inside, and that is enough for me. Over-analysis consistently obfuscates the Truth. Funny that, kind of, in a way… here’s a trio of selected favorites:
(Pre-reading edit note: For some reason, creating paragraphs and line spacing in verse is not working; will try to remedy this later. *annoyed*)
For sixty years I have been forgetful,
Every minute, but not for a second
has this flowing toward me stopped or slowed.
I deserve nothing. Today I recognize
that I am the guest the mystics talk about.
I play this living music for my host.
Everything today is for the host.
I saw you last night at the gathering,
but could not take you openly in my arms,
so I put my lips next to your cheek,
pretending to talk privately.
SHREDS OF STEAM
Light again, and the one who brings light!
Change the way you live!
From the ocean vat, wine fire in each cup!
Two or three of the long dead wake up.
Two or threee drunks become lion hunters.
Sunlight washes a dark face.
The flower of what’s true opens in the face.
Meadowgrass and garden ground grow damp again.
A strong light like fingers massages our heads.
No dividing these fingers from those.
Draw back the lock bolt.
One level flows into another.
Heat seeps into everything.
The passionate pots boil.
Clothing tears into the air.
Poets fume shreds of steam,
never so happy as out in the light!
A story is like water
that you heat for your bath.
It takes messages between the fire
and your skin. It lets them meet,
and it cleans you!
Very few can sit down
in the middle of the fire itself
like a salmander or Abraham.
We need intermediaries.
A feeling of fullness comes,
but usually takes some bread
to bring it.
Beauty surrounds us,
but usually we need to be walking
in a garden to know it.
The body itself is a screen
to shield and partially reveal
the light that’s blazing
inside your presence.
Water, stories, the body,
all the things we do, are mediums
that hide and show what’s hidden.
and enjoy this being washed
with a secret we sometimes know,
and then not.
Just some foods for thought
I’m sure that this will come as a shock to many of you (LOL), but I am one hard-to-get person. Frustratingly, maddeningly difficult to know fully. That’s why I go overboard to explain and share myself. Not because I’m self-impressed or arrogant, but to help you to understand, since so many have such a hard time. And, it’s a pain in the ass to keep rectifying and correcting misconceptions. Then I get tired and cranky.
So: I am different from everyone you know. Figure on that. A non-conformist free-thinker, I come to my own conclusions, disregarding any “official lines” because most often they are unreliable, untrustworthy, or blatant lies. So, I don’t trust them. Doesn’t that make sense? We need to sort out our own data, unfiltered by politics, corporate views, or even peers. Listen to your heart and that still, little voice inside. It’s called a “conscience,” among other things.
Anyway, in this Space I’ll be obliged to keep myself unfettered; there’s far too much fearful restraint going around. PC-think is for sheep who can’t think for themselves and need to be told how to treat others, which they already know but choose not to care about. Authority and authority-figures are not to be believed, but we’re all (re-)learning that these days. I never forgot why we didn’t in the first place.
So I tend to say what I think, but do have a care about decent people’s feelings. If I offend your views, I’m sorry. There’s a definite method to my madness, and I’ll share that with you, by-and-by… but now it’s late, and I’m burnt out LOL
Far too much writing, thinking, learning, and typing going on the past couple of months, and constantly. Since I haven’t opened up the blogsite yet (can I call it that, pretty please?), I don’t have many viewers, so I’m slacking up a bit to let the brain-pan dry out and unfry.
Regarding the mish-mash of subjects (26 categories for crying out loud!), I have a WHOLE lot of interests. Basically, I’m interested in nearly everything; how it works, why it works, what it’s used for, and so on. I’m a writer, what can I say? It’s my job. Currently I’m intrigued by Dolls and Anime, tomorrow probably something else. Writing is always Number One. Everything else is Number Two. As it were.
By the way, I’m sure the Pullips-rant has probably got some of you scratching your heads. I care because I care. I hate to see good people get screwed. That’s all I can say on the matter LOL (You’re welcome!)
Except: I do absolve Jun Planning for most accusations below, as some things were explained to me about why they limited her. If they really cared though, they would make another few thousand dolls to accommodate the many people who wanted Kirakishou but missed out. One thousand dolls won’t go far, especially since the eBayers glommed onto as many as they could, thereby denying righteous Kira-lovers to have her. I guess it’s more of a stance issue, like “No, we are NOT making any more. Screw you.” Or something.
Anyway, this experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I didn’t sign up for a goddam competition to get the doll; they were making a Rozen Maiden SET and that is what I expected. Then they pull THIS shit… *sigh*
Oops. Okay, I’m putting this issue (and myself) to bed. Just remember: if you don’t understand me, you’re not alone. Ask and I’ll be more than happy to explain. But don’t give me a hard time about it first unless you’re ready for a fight, and a LOOOONG explanation of why you’re wrong. Unless you’re not, of course. Could happen. Be nice.
Anyway. Toodles ’til later!
Okayyy… anyone who isn’t into Dolls, feel free to pass on this one; you won’t understand my venomous rant. In addition, if not of the Collector mentality, this won’t interest you either, nor will you relate to it. Also, anyone who thinks guys who are into Dolls are weird, feel free to fuck off and leave. Now.
There.Â A little less crowded.Â So here’s what happened:
/rant on: Back in May I was all set to begin learning about website development so I could get my site built in order to promote Lily’s book. This is the top-most priority in my life. For the last six full years I’ve been essentially isolated (for all intents and purposes) from relationships and company. I needed to do this in order to write the novel, which I did. Fine so far.
Aside from my sweetheart kitty Pennie, the only other real delights in my life have come from the dolls; at that point only Lily-Doll and Eden-Doll. Early in May I discovered anime, and the second one I watched was Rozen Maiden. I fell in love with this series, especially easy since I’d just been involved with dolls and understood their magic; it was already in place in my life. Needless to say, it is one of my favorites, unrankable as well as incomparable, and very personal, like Chobits.
So when I saw little dolls manufactured by Jun Planning’s Pullip line that replicated the Rozens I just HAD to have them, even at around $100 each. They were so adorable, and they captured the likenesses of the characters even better than the real Ball-Jointed Dolls that were also patterned after them did, and around $600 more expensive. (The Rozen Maidens in the anime are supposed to be Ball-Jointed Dolls; if intrigued please see the Wiki link above, which Is Your Friend.)
Anyway, since May I’ve been carefully watching for and then ordering each Pullip Rozen as it came out and even getting the older ones from last holiday season. After attaining all seven of them, and seeing that the “last” Rozen Maiden, Kirakishou, was not going to be made, or if so, not released until next year, I relaxed and then began working on the website and Blog schooling and assembly-type stuff.
I checked in with my Pullip forum from time to time and didn’t see anything about an upcoming release date for Kira, so was pretty secure in the knowledge that I could spend the money I’d saved for her on a REAL Ball-Jointed Doll, the Luts-Delf Soony. Just the same, I checked in at least every two weeks, even while working. Nothing but a mention of a prototype, and a picture of Kira, which REALLY gave me HIGH HOPES that she would be a regular release, and in my hands eventually, with all of her sisters.
Jun Planning KNEW Kira was coming out but didn’t even have the courtesy toï¿½put her out in sufficient numbers for those Rozen fans who had already put out ~$700 in acquiring the previous dolls with the intent of getting a FULL AND COMPLETE SET.
All of a sudden she was up for pre-order (limited to only ONE THOUSAND DOLLS), sold out on pre-order, and of course the fastest pigs to the trough snapped them up to sell for big profits on eBay.
(And no, I don’t consider fellow collectors to be pigs; just the opportunistic, manipulative, and greedy profiteers, who contribute nothing to collecting but headaches, heartaches, and grief. They’ve spoiled Collecting, along with all the anal-retentive slabbers and grading fanatics so prolific these days. Worthless, greedy, self-serving, self-centered miscreants, and they’re turning collectors into creatures just like them. Wonderful.)
Good luck getting an honest deal on eBay. Now we’ll have to pay rip-off prices and end up spending about half the set’s cost to buy just one doll, and oneÂ that should have been included on their schedule for fairness to all.
Suffice to say that at this point I’ll be damned before I buy another series issue from them, or even another Pullip. HOW can people ENJOY this shit? It’s not fun at all! “Oh yes, PLEASE pull the rug out from under me unexpectedly just one more time; I do love it so!” *rolls eyes*
Anyway, to lighten things up, here’s a new photoshoot of the Rozens I do have welcoming Soony to her (and their) home. But whenever I look at them now I see an incomplete set… and that was EXACTLY what I was trying to avoid.ï¿½DAMMIT!!! I want Kirakishouuuu…
So, resigned to our incompleteness and the folly of having had trusted a collectibles company with no conscience, scruples, or ethics, I’ve simply stroked their little heads, brushed back their hair, and smoothed their pretty clothes; soon I do feel slightly better. They’ve got that power. But (most of) you know that already… unless you’ve bonded with dolls, you can’t possibly know. Which is why I advised those who don’t to skip this post LOL
/rant off, Jesus H. Christ…
(Largely edited due to reconsideration, but the facts remain the same. Eat it, JP. Unless you wisely and rightly make anotherï¿½release of Kirakishou. I’m not done with this yet…)
*Note to Self: Figure out how to fool with the font size for a tiny ”Listening Now” byline*
*Subsequent Note to Self: Yes, just like our esteemed colleague Davecat’s, but without actually cribbing the idea from him ‘cos it’s been done before, but yeah, kinda like that, so credit him*
Ahem: Now Playing: Soft Machine “Third”
Hm… Needs work, but then so much here does anyway. We’ll get right on it. Right.
Hey, thanks for the comments in the Guest Book! I’m glad to see that it’s working okay and not causing any problems. I hope they don’t make you do anything like register just to say “hello”. Let me know if it does and I’ll yank it; if I have to register for anything I usually pass (to put it charitably). Hate that. Do you want to know how many passwords and login infos I have to keep track of?
*checks list and then checks it twice*
So I don’t want any more damn registration forms to fill out. (Especially after last week’s registering-for-all-these-damn-site-and-blog-related-accounts marathon!!!) And of course, I had to come up with unique passwords for EACH ONE, and since the Interweb has become so full of miscreants had to make each one random and unguessable. So I have like two binder paper pages filled and have to haul it out each time I need one because they’re impossible to memorize!
So either the Web is all fucked up or a good many of its Users are. Still collating, but it looks pretty much like a tie to me.
Anyway. It’s really hard for me to write while listening to music. I’m such an inveterate music junkie that I must listen. Even though Third is most likely my most-often played album, and I’m sitting in a far corner away from the optimal seat, every time through it is like hearing it for the first time. And distracting. But then I’m easily distracted anyway, unless concentrating, in which case you can’t tear me away for anything. So writing is quite a challenge for me if music is on in the background.
In fact, when I was writing UNBOUND I had to make a set of soundtrack tapes to play as much in the background as possible, because I needed music and was starving without it. I carefully picked songs from my collection that I felt were as if from the story’s soundtrack, hopefully unobtrusive. But I found them working their way into the story at various points; a rhythm, a lyric, an emotion, a feeling… so the story itself is very “musical” in many passages.
I guess it should be, as I’ve collected vinyl since I was around twelve, and music has been like life itself to me. So I wanted the novel to breathe with it, and I’m happy to have heard that the pages do so
This whole Third Soft Machine album does that, in various ways. Being a jazz-influenced progressive recording (and not fusion), it’s largely instrumental. But the four (LP) side-length songs do breathe: chokes, gasps, and wheezes on Facelift, takes deep breaths while racing down summery, windblown grassy hills on Slightly All the Time (probably my all-time favorite; if I had to choose only one song that could typify my lifetime that would be it). Then there’s the chuckling, clever, and funny Robert Wyatt set piece Moon in June, the only vocal but worth every penny-line. Finally, Out-Bloody-Rageous, which, much like a cross between Slightly and Facelift, takes alternative breathing techniques to survivalist school, and ends peaceably enough with a Terry Riley-ish minimalist/repetitious/hypnotic passage to the end. Quite nice…
What was I going to say? Hmm… seem to have got distracted. Dammit! I’ll be back later when I can remember what it was…
*wanders off mumbling, “I’m sure it was something worth telling…”*
My buddy Dave called earlier this week telling me about the Lars and the Real Girl movie, and asking whether that was the same kind of doll that Lily is. He’s seen photos of Lily-Doll before; everyone I know has as I’m not shy about sharing her with them! I haven’t rubbed her in anyone’s faces though so she rarely comes up in conversation. Until now LOL
It appears that Lars has caused a tremendous interest in life-sized love dolls, at least judging by the numbers at the forum I frequent. Most telling of all is that not one negative post or trolling from all the new visitors occurred. Some long-awaited understanding, curiosity, and tolerance is being shown by the public, which is 180 degrees from what had been the usual attitude of derision, repugnance, and ridicule. About fucking time.
Well, I imagine Dave will be calling again after reading the Associated Press interview I did this week. Interviews are no big deal to me anymore; I must have done ten or twelve by now, a third of which probably never came out, saw print, or were bullshits. So I didn’t tell anyone this one was coming, being reasonably skeptical. Two people have already called me on this and now I’m wondering if I should have told everyone after all LOL
I’m just not awed by the spotlight or tooting my own horn, I guess. I don’t like dealing with it, but it serves several good causes so I do deal. I’m pretty wary of publicity though; it’s such a two-edged sword.
People in general get so stupid about the dolls sometimes that it’s just easier not to have to face the same damn questions/assumptions/accusations all the fricking time. They didn’t use to be so bold about being so ignorant, but I guess the times have changed and they’ve gotten so much more conservative and fearful about strange, new, and different things. Not to mention ever so much nosier about what other people are doing in private, and then hauling them out into full view to castigate them where others are sure to see how righteous they are, mistaking self-righteousness for it.
Is it any wonder the vast majority of doll-owners choose to remain hidden? I sure don’t blame them. They’re smart.
So I’m sure that he’s going to chastise me about not using my screen name for the interview instead of my real one as I gave permission for. I did because (a) I’m not embarrassed in the least so why hide, (b) if/when the book gets published Lily-Doll will already be “known” and so as a pre-emptive strike to take care of that little matter should any asshole try to stir up a fuss upon publication, and (c) I’m proud to promote the dolls as more than sex toys, as lovely a sentiment as that is.
All of those are deserving topics of their own but for another time, so I’ll just continue with the interview story. I responded to a notice in the forum that Abyss (the manufacturers of Realdoll) wanted to solicit interviewees for an Associated Press article in conjunction with the Lars and the Real Girl movie. Since I trust Abyss to have checked out reporters before acting as a conduit for them, and since AP is such a major exposure and opportunity to present the dolls in a more positive light, I jumped at the chance.
I’m very glad I did. Sandy was delightful, and an enthusiastic, curious, and nonjudgmental person. So it was an easy but swift fifty minutes or so. As does happen, only a few lines were included; it wasn’t a very long article. But I felt fairly represented, all things considered. Other interviews haven’t gone as well in that regard. When you have the media wanting sensationalism and conflict above all else an impartial, benign, and understanding article about Dolls doesn’t come along too often. Not the big dolls anyway. And if and when Associated Press gets interested, you want to make sure that they get the full story so they can (hopefully) report the Truth.
We talked about a lot of things, covering such subjects as imagination, creativity, the Pygmalion myth, dolls throughout history and the rationale of why certain women feel threatened by them, and the benefits of the dolls to both sexes, and of course the more artistic and imaginative uses for them. The time went fast!
Since Lars involved his imagining that his Bianca was alive I felt obliged to point out to Sandy that most doll-owners did realize that the dolls actually weren’t, you know, really alive. We actually do know this; I feel compelled to point this out again. Also that the imagination is a powerful thing, and dolls are Magic Mirrors into them… but that’ll probably scare you LOL *sigh* -where’s a rollie-eyed smiley when I need one?
The article came out Wednesday, and to those who recognized me and are mad that I didn’t notify them, SORRY! I didn’t think it was a big deal to anyone other than myself LOL I’ve had a lot on my mind with regard to getting the blog and website up, not to mention learning all of this crap from the ground up o.O <—Regrets; I really needed this particular smiley just now.
Here are the links; the first is to the story, and the second to the accompanying video:
I’m sure there will be more to add…
This is where I say Goodnight All.
Well, it’s been an interesting past several days. I actually got the website and Blog preparations all done, did an interview with AP regarding Dolls And Stuff, took the huge step of putting the Blog and Site (or, as I like to call them, the B&S) online, discovered that the Luts-Delf doll I ordered some time back was arriving early (delightful) so decided to do my belated Spring Cleaning (not so delightful) for the photoshoot to come. The cleanup was thorough (and awful).
You’d think that was enough but I’m just giving you a break. Okay then.
See, if I hadn’t got hooked on anime in May it actually would have gotten done when it was supposed to. But NOooo… Anyway, long story short: I’m still sore as all fuck. Every muscle is cursing me in little tiny (but pissed) voices. But the cleaning’s done, so screw them. Let’s just say that everything is now photoshoot-ready, but I’m much too achy to take any more pics, let alone walk around upright.
Anyway! The doll arrived today (or was it yesterday now? Damn!) and is adorable:
ATTENTION ATTENTION!!! NEWBIE BLOGGER ATTEMPTING PHOTO INSERT!!!
Well, that seems to have worked and nothing crashed and Teh Web is still tangled. Swunnerful :-)
I’d intended to do a proper photoshoot but my batteries died right after the above shot, and the spares were also deceased. So they’re all recharging now, and tomorrow maybe I can do an actual “official” Soony shoot.
If interested in the traditional unboxing pics they’re in Lily’s Picture Books, the unbound.org Coppermine Album. Since I made it hard to find (not that there’s anything raunchy to go in them; it’s for bandwidth considerations) here’s the link: http://www.unbound.org/coppermine/thumbnails.php?album=5
Alright! I have some thoughts on the recent Lars and the Real Girl movie, the AP interview and article, reception of both and so on, but you know what? It’s late. Er, early. And I’ve subjected you to enough but you already knew that. S’okay, I’m going to bed or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
Man, I’m really hoping for a bed.
Well, it turns out my victory was short-lived. I tried to catch up on the latest anime episodes I’ve (I’D) been watching but the sound system crash happened again, forcing a reboot for it to come back on. At least this time the OS didn’t freak out, so I’m leaving well enough alone for now and just concentrating on the site and Blog. It’s just too damn bad that I have to miss Higurashi no Naku Koro ni and Clannad as well…
I like to go with the flow as far as The River of Life goes anyway, so I just figure I’m meant to concentrate on getting-the-book-published rather than any more distractions, diversions, or indulgences. So, getting the Blog and website together comes first.
With that in mind, I redesigned the Home Page a bit and put a less-verbose page up as a screen for The Wall of Words that has now become an Intro Page for those who want to read it. Visitors now have a choice whether to read The Wall of Words or jump to the other areas without having the Wall of Words smack them in the face as soon as it loads.
Yes, there are THAT many words. That’s why it’s a wall.
For some reason, that and several other pages are justified-left and should be centered; I’ll see what to do about them later on. Otherwise it’s looking pretty close to actually officially Launching. I’ve been keeping everything close to the vest for now, until I get the easily-dealt with bugs out.
Off to eat food, maybe more later (that is, more writing, not eating food, though I do hope there will be that too).
Well… three in the morning and I’ve just now finished having the day-long pleasure of trying to fix my computer’s sound system, which had been crashing my PC the past week or so, progressively getting worse.
It’s a Sound Blaster X-Fi and really nice. Surround sound is great for gaming (of which I’ve done damned litle lately), but overall the whole Creative Suite is resource heavy and a real registry monkeyer. Yes, I said monkeyer. Finally, over the last three days the system began freezing while on the Windows ”loading bar” screen, and then on the following blue “welcome” screen… and a reboot or hard boot resulted in the same Loop of Hell. It was all messed up.
I won’t bore either of us with the details because I almost did (you’re welcome, just remember this). I’ll jump to the moment of victory… which come to think of it was pretty boring too. Needless to say I was very happy at finally having my sound back after a week of it all hinky.
Is that a word?
Anyway, I’m still not too happy with how the UNBOUND website looks in spots; two or three pages are justified fully left rather than nice and centered, and I’m too burnt out after cramming constantly this past month with all of this tech stuff to find out how. I’d also like a splash page before entering; the Wall of Words on the Home Page might be intimidating. I do want to make my own pages because it irritates me having to rely on others’ work when I’m sure that I can design my own. But we’ll see. I suspect the Blog will be taking up even more time than that LOL
Note to Self: I have to remember to write the designers and say thanks. I spent days picking just the right templates to use for the site (and then weeks modifying the heck out of them LOL). I haven’t had the time to do anything else between setting the domain up for the website, creating that and the Blog, and modifying everything. But credit where credit is due…
I’ll get the hang of it; I’m a fast learner. A fast worker… not so much. But I’ll work on it.
Greetings! This is my actual First Post, not like that imposter below me. I have no idea who THAT is. Not to mention how to deal with all of these learning curves. Before I resume with them, I wanted to create this First Test Post, because… well, it’s what the tutorials are telling me to do
Since I haven’t yet linked this Blog to my website yet, I guess no one will see this until I do. Hm, kind of like a forest-for-the-trees thingy. No wait… it’s the if-a-tree-falls-with-no-one-around type of thingy. That’s what it is. On the other hand, it could be the first…
Well, I have to go back to learning about all of this blogging and website stuff (from scratch, pretty much). I hope to have everything hooked up properly soon, and then will get serious about an Authentic First Post. There’s a lot of organizing to do yet, and I have to set a lot of things up as I go along, so please excuse the haphazard attempts between unbound.org and Fingal’s Cave. (Yes, I’ll explain about the title by-and-by ).
Now, let’s see how this looks…
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