In keeping with the theme of “being human”, I wanted to delve further into the lyrics for “Illusion” by vnv nation (included in the previous post). But, you know… interpretation is a personal thing, really. While the songwriter most likely has one idea?around which?their song is centered on, once it leaves their hands it becomes the Beholder’s art-work to interpret as it relates to them. And it may be something else quite entirely. To me, this is one of the most wonderful things about Art…
That being said… the previous entry used the song “Illusion” as a backdrop to the story of Makoto, and her own struggle with sacrificing her life in one form while struggling to retain her humanity in another. Today’s entry uses the same great song in an entirely different manner, examining the Synthetiks’ concept of “Life” and what it must?strive for?in understanding?the human perspective, or what it perceives as such…
Ever since watching “Bladerunner” (which was based on Philip K. Dick’s “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”), I’d become fascinated with the concept of replicants of various types and their yearning for understanding what it is “to be human”, and what it means to be human.?In recent decades, we, as a race, seem to have fallen further and further away from appreciating just what that is, and in the process becoming ever more unfeeling, blocked-off, and de-sensitized. Not to even mention much less virtuous, considerate, and loving…?we become more machine-like every day, while the machines…?
These concepts (to a greater or lesser degree) are addressed in anime such as Chobits, and the currently-running Eve no Jikan series. Both bear watching if this subject is of interest to you, though Eve no Jikan (aka “Time of Eve”)?may be?difficult to find.
But that?topic will have to wait, for it’s one that can’t just be thrown together; today there’s much work to be done with regards to my “living conditions” and so time’s too scarce to do?it justice. For?your consideration and hoped-for reflection, I’ve included a pair of videos.?The first is “Doll Face” by the very talented Andy Huang, with music by vnv nation (”Illusion”), and the second is the music video for Bjork’s “All is Full of Love”. Both include some very ingenious and provocative “animotion”, the quality of which is not often seen.?
I can’t say enough about Bjork, whom I’ve long adored and respected for her courage, honesty, and integrity expressed in staying true to herself and her Vision. Her video for “All is Full of Love” from her Homogenic album, follows…
ALL IS FULL OF LOVE
You’ll be given love
you’ll be taken care of
you’ll be given love
you have to trust it
Maybe not from the sources
you have poured yours
Maybe not from the directions
you are staring at
Trust your head around
it’s all around you
all is full of love
all around you
All is full of love : you just ain’t receiving
All is full of love : your phone is off the hook
All is full of love : your doors are all shut
All is full of love
Isn’t it strange that while we acknowledge and hear the words of our artists and philosophers, that we don’t often act on their?ideals?or truly feel their empathy? Oh, we do note, and mark, and debate endlessly, but do we really listen, reflect, and feel? Do we truly aspire to, or do we wall ourselves off from, feelings of such depth? Afraid of the deep waters we’re collectively content to?wade at the edge of the pool…
We watch, but don’t see; hear, but don’t listen; grasp, but don’t touch. We record. Like machines do. And machines are the superior recorders. But… they can’t Feel as we do. They can’t Love as we can. They don’t have the Soul with which to connect to each other, as we do, and with the World, as we are. Because we are all connected, and have this in common. And, believe it or not, whether it might be or it’s not, this is Love. But that’s my interpretation. What’s yours? Listen to that “still, small voice inside”, because, that is You
I recently came across a fantastic song entitled “Illusion” by a heretofore-unknown (to me) band called vnv nation. So unknown that I’m still unsure as to where and if capital letters are included in their name. The message remains however: this is a great song and the composition and lyrics both tell of a real Song Writer. As this particular topic crosses categories of many types, please bear with me as I snip it into two entries…
While searching for a particular Anime Music Video (AMV) in order to “campaign” for a character from the series Kanon, I found this stunning tribute to Makoto Sawatari, who plays one of the five girls whose lives have been affected by the protagonist, Yuuichi. (The campaign is for her nomination for inclusion in the 2009 International Saimoe League, which will be the subject of a later post.) I’ve often mentioned Kanon (2006) here, being as it’s probably my favorite anime story. I’m going to break with (my) tradition and reveal some spoilers, so as to better enable you to understand the following video, and as it relates to the song’s lyrics. If any readers intend to watch Kanon, this WILL spoil some of its secrets with regard to Makoto, so please bear this in mind! If not intending to watch it, then (a) you won’t be spoiled, and (b) you might learn something about this wonderful Japanese art-form…
First, about the story…
In Kanon, Yuuichi returns to a “snow-covered city” where as a child he used to spend summer with his Aunt Akiko and cousin Nayuki. The story revolves around him attempting to piece together his shattered (with good reason) memory, and the connectivity of the five special girls he encounters, some from his past, some present, and some… rather time-less.?One summer long ago, he came across a wounded fox-cub while exploring, and brought it home to his aunt’s house where he secretly kept it upstairs in his room while he tended to it, talked to it, and cared for it. The little cub grew dependent on him, and listened to him chat about his life, his interests, and in particular, his crush on an older neighbor named… Makoto Sawatari.?
But, “to all good things must come an end”… and at summer’s end, knowing that he had to leave to return to his parents home, he brought the cub back to the hill where he’d found it, and set it free, running tearfully away as the cub, bewildered at this sudden separation, searched frantically for him, as time passed them?by, both of them…
Now, some?years later,?a much-older Yuuichi returns. Seven years ago An Event happened which has clouded some of his memories and obliterated others. So, when walking downtown one day and he is assaulted on the sidewalk by a cloaked and hooded girl, he is not too surprised that he doesn’t recognize her. But, she does him, although as to her own identity, she is, for some reason, uncertain.?Discovering that she has no place to go to and assuming that she’s a runaway, he brings her to his aunt’s house where he’s?once again?living. Akiko allows her to stay while they try to find her?family.
FROM EPISODE 7, “Fugue”: During this time, her antagonistic attitude toward Yuuichi mellows somewhat, though she does, for some reason unknown to either of them, harbor a serious grudge against him. One day a little kitten?”adopts her”, and the three of them walk over an overpass and stop to?discuss what to do with it. Holding it at the railing she muses that?”in the end, animals just get?thrown away when they’re no longer wanted. Don’t you agree, Yuuichi?” His response is cut short as she continues: “Instead of thoughtlessly giving it a peaceful life with the humans, it would be better off if it were returned to the wild.”??And she lets it go…
Furious, Yuuichi berates her and she runs off, and doesn’t come home. After dinner, he goes looking for her, and eventually spies her on Monomi Hill, sitting on the hilltop. He sees that she and the cat have somehow found each other again, and overhears her saying to it, “We’re the same, you know. Nuisances with nowhere to go.” She curls up with it and falls asleep, exhausted from her searching. Yuuichi carries her home, passing on the way a fox, who watches them intently before scampering off…
In the middle of the night she awakens, and is surprised that she has been brought back to the house. Akiko treats her as family, and they sit down together for?a midnight snack as she, bewildered, regards these strangers who express such concern and care for her…
Over the next three episodes of her story arc… Well, I can’t tell the WHOLE story here! If you’ve read “Flowers For Algernon”, or seen its film adaptation “Charly” starring Cliff Robertson, that’s kind of the gist. Kind of.?Makoto begins to lose her humanity…
A girl who knows more than she wants to let on, Amano, tells?Yuuichi a story about the mythical magical foxes on Monomi Hill. But Yuuichi believes in magic just about as you or I would… and yet Kanon is a story about magic, and miracles, and dreams. And Real Life… They are all intertwined
I’ll allow the video to tell (most of) the rest of the story. (And, if interested, Kanon (2006) is available on DVD *hint hint*…) While watching, note the relationship between the lyrics and the visuals and it?may come to you. Interpretation is always a grey area, and telling exactly what a lyric means should always be left to the Listener. It changes with your situation, and with others’… please enjoy, and thanks to vnv nation for this great song!
ILLUSION
[February 2007]
I know it’s hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt I don’t want you to change
Because everyone has hopes
You?re human after all
The feeling sometimes wishing you were someone else
feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness
This feeling is not joy
I truly understand
Please don’t cry now
Please, don’t go
I want you to stay
I’m begging you, please
Please, don’t leave here
I don?t want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Being like you are
well this is something else.
Who would comprehend?
But some that do lay claim
that divine purpose blesses them
Well that’s not what I believe
and it doesn’t matter anyway.
A part of your soul ties you to the next world
or maybe to the last but I’m still not sure
What I do know is to us the world is different
as we are to the world
I guess you would know that
Please, don’t go
I want you to stay
I’m begging you, please
Please, don’t leave here
I don?t want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please, don’t go
I want you to stay
I’m begging you, please
Please, don’t leave here
I don?t want you to change for all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion always trying to change you
I’d like to?wish a Happy New Year to all of Alastor’s visitors, and the fervent hope that 2009 will be better than last. All things told, that shouldn’t be too hard to?accomplish, as 2008 was pretty bad. This year will undoubtedly be a challenge for me, as multiple changes are afoot…
I’m not at all sure what the near future will bring, except a lot of uncertainty which is hampering my tendencies to plan well ahead. I’m not sure whether I will be moving very shortly, or in the longer run, or where to or even in which locale. Everything is shrouded in mystery, trepidation, and hazard; even the slightest mis-step will bring me tumbling down the side of the mountain. Yet I still stride with the faith that It Will All Work Out.
A truer Fool there never was…?
After six months of a modicum of interest with regards to selling my house, it became de-listed (automatically) and so I’ve gone with a very aggressive Real Estate company which impressed me with their marketing skills, even posting properties overseas and on multiple Internet sites. After a short period of “wait and see” in which a sale is not forthcoming we will then?probably just do a short-sale which will allow me to walk away, although with no profit. From there…
….it gets complicated. With nothing but?this minimum-wage job I’ll be forced to seek housing through the local Housing Authority, but (a) they have a long waiting list and (b) their properties are “no-pets”. Earlier, I’d hunted for apartments in my affordable-price range but all of them were no-pets as well. And Pennie, my constant companion and sole company for these past eight years, is NOT going to be dumped off to appease these heartless bastards. I’ve had her for almost eleven years now, and when I moved away from my family and friends in 2001 she became my only comfort, and, I like to think, hers.
Well. Her being a cat and all, I’m SURE that she has plenty of comforts, but still. I play with her a lot and make sure that she’s happy, and to be honest, she still?acts like a kitten. (As do I, I suppose, in a manner of speaking.) So, there’s no way in hell that I will separate from her. That would be an unconscionable “reward” for her loyalty and friendship. Assuming that I walk away from this house with no profit, then I’ll have to petition my co-workers to see of they know of anyone willing to room with me (us). And as I’m still getting to know them (and they me) it might be a little too soon for risk-taking of unknown properties and persons.?If that fails then I may have to live out of my truck. That is option “A”, in a (small) nutshell.
Option B will be considered if I do manage to come away from this with a small profit, which if I’m lucky will be about $5K. With that, given the above realities,?I may have to pack up and return to the Bay Area region, and since I have no job lined up, I’ll be forced to rely on the offer of an old friend who has suggested that I rent an empty room from him for awhile. But the area he lives has very high unemployment, and is in the Central Valley which presents its own share of problems. But being able to rent an apartment there with no job will be highly unlikely, and as my formerly excellent credit has been hard-hit through my mortgage woes, that’s a double-whammy that I likely won’t be able to overcome. Not quickly, anyway.
Which leads me back to Alastor… it appears that I may not be able to maintain my web-presence anymore, although I’ll be fighting tooth-and-nail to keep it up. But as I mentioned earlier, the near-future is much too uncertain to be sure of anything. Of course, publishing Unbound remains my primary concern, but I do need a stable “base” from which to send/receive queries, communications,?the manuscript and whatnot, so I will need to re-establish myself first. Once I do that, then I’ll see if I can re-design and update?the website and “professionalize” it to the best of my (obviously) limited abilities. But at the moment, things are quite dire…
As ever, Lily and her story have led me along this path?and is the only lantern I’ve held since embarking on our journey. I’ve held onto that faith that she’s given me, and which she is relying upon to get her story out into the World. We rely on each other as we have for the past decade since I committed myself to her, and I’m positive that her footfalls are more certain than mine are. So I’ll continue to trust in her lead, and the lead of the One Who Knows the lay of the right path intended for us. For from this Source all things are dealt out.?But the cards at this point are too vague and fuzzy for me to ascertain. All but one, my Significator, and it is Card Zero…
But God, the air is so pure, fresh, and invigorating up here, where one can see for miles all around, to the point of not even seeing the ground… and I’ve so enjoyed being Here.
So, as I see this Sun going down, since the World keeps spinning ’round, I know that after this sunset and the darkness it will bring that there will surely come another dawn, maybe brighter than the last. Therefore, by-and by, I’ll be making my way back on down… the Journey will be long, but then most worthwhile ones are, aren’t they?
Be Well
on the water
Welcome to Alastor's Reflection, the re-imagining of Fingal's Cave; a much more suitable environment than that poor soul's indwelling. Fingal resumes his journey in the pages of UNBOUND, while another solitary Spirit remains in this Place to muse with his Muse on the pursuit of "Life, Joy, Empire, and Victory," and the beauties therein...
